Chris Douglas Roberts & a Tribute to NBA short shorts


Maybe new Clipper Chris Douglas Roberts is still suffering from the swine flu he got back in 2009, because I can’t imagine anyone wanting to wear John Stockton style short-shorts unless they had too, but according to CDR, he requested “medium” shorts like the ones that Stockton wore (which are not considered medium).

I don’t know if he’s ever played in short shorts but he might want to ask LA’s Kobe Bryant about his experience when the Lakers took on the Celtics in 2007 while wearing Stockton style shorts.

“I don’t know what it feels like to wear a thong, but I imagine it feels something like what we had on in the first half,” Kobe said. “I felt violated. I felt naked. It’s one thing to see films with guys wearing those things. … I’d rather stay warm, man.”

6 year earlier, Kobe, his teammate Shaq, Tracy McGrady and 5 other players were fined for wearing shorts that David Stern thought were too long and then in 2005, 13 more players, including Allen Iverson, were fined $10k each for wearing “long” shorts.

”Would all the kids then wear John Stockton shorts? No, they wouldn’t.” said a fake crying Shaq when asked about the fine. “They would laugh at me, and I wouldn’t be their favorite player any more. I’d be the laughingstock of big men.”

Every once in a while some player will flirt with the idea of wearing short shorts but in the end, they know not even a superstar like LeBron James could make it popular.

“I’m just wondering how in the heck they played like that. I might bring it back, though.” said LeBron to ESPN. “I might play in some small shorts this year. Pay my homage to the ’80s, to Dr. J and John Stockton. I don’t think it’s going to catch on, but I’m going to do it one game, maybe opening night. I can’t go all the way up (the legs), though. Athletes today are built a little differently in the legs.”


One of Michael Jordan’s biggest contributions to the game is one that he doesn’t get credit enough for.  In 1989, to cover his UNC shorts and to prevent his shorts from falling down because he had a habit of tugging on them when he gets tired, the Goat asked Champion to make wider and longer shorts. Then his teammate Scottie Pippen started wearing them and then the entire league requested the shorts.

Due to MJ’s popularity and the popularity of the UNLV Runnin Rebels with Larry Johnson and the Plastic Man, everybody who dribbled a basketball soon wanted to wear longer shorts and once Chris Webber and the Fab Five introduced the super baggy shorts, the Stockton style short shorts were officially dead.

So good luck to CDR on resurrecting the dead with the Clippers. You will probably have a better shot at convincing the Clippers to bring back Donald Sterling.

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