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Does Gilbert Arenas use $100 bills instead of toilet paper?

Published on October 18th, 2013 by David Astramskas | 3,760 views



gilbert-toilet

I spoil them bitches, I employe them niggas,
Wipe my ass with the riches like it’s some toilet tissue,

Those might be the lyrics of Meek Mill but it’s probably describing the lifestyle of Agent Zero.  2 days ago and probably at least 1 expensive bathroom visit ago, Gilbert Arenas, via Instagram, posted a pic of a roll of hundred dollar bills in the place of a toilet roll in his bathroom and the words “while u hate on my life i’m wiping my ass with this shit here haha.”

Of course the post is in poor taste and is a slap in the face to people that work everyday and struggle to pay their bills, especially considering Gilbert hasn’t played in the NBA since 2012 and is still the 3rd highest paid player in the league at $22.3 million, but I don’t see how people can take this too seriously.  Anybody with common sense knows these bills aren’t flushable and just don’t feel as nice as baby wipes.

Let’s look back at a few of the pranks he’s done on teammates and then think if it’s that big of a deal that #0, or #1 in Orlando, wants to count money while he’s going #2.

  • “Taking a crap” in Andray Blatche’s shoe
  • Filling Andray Blatche’s bathtub with coffee during a road trip
  • Bringing doughnuts to practice by buying plain ones and sprinkling baby powder on them–that is, when he wasn’t buying frosted ones, licking each one and putting it back in the box
  • Stealing teammates’ keys and hiding them in a bottle of water.
  • Dumped coffee on teammates’ mattresses
  • Spraying teammates on the toilet with a water hose
  • Cutting up his teammates’ suits so they would have to go home in their uniforms (this supposedly was the catalyst for “poop-gate”)
  • Throwing away shower towels so his teammates couldn’t dry off
  • then of course we have a locker room showdown with real life gang member Javiris Crittenton

 If there’s anything offensive about Gilbert and his money it’s the $111 million contract the Wizards gave him.  


if you are still reading….

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About the Author

Astramskiss aka VincentDa aka Expiredpineapples is a digital-marketing guy living in Houston. He’s worked with the NBA, Sprite, ESPN, NBA2K, cool people like LeBron, DWade, Adrian Peterson and Robert Horry, a long list of not-so-cool people and 1 or 2 real s****ty people. Won awards & been featured in mags like Sports Illustrated as a video editor & web developer. Releasing a book in 2014. Studied film & women at FSU during the golden age of hip-hop. .



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