Here’s Why You Should Never Trust A Woman Who Owns A Damian Lillard Jersey
Editor in Chief
Aka VincentDa & RedApples fka Expiredpineapples. My alter-ego is a digital-marketing guy in Houston. Won editing awards & created obsolete flash websites that have been featured in mags like Sports Illustrated. Studied film & women at FSU during the golden age of hip-hop. Collects records, laserdiscs, sports memorabilia & toys. Father of 2 daughters that are more athletic and popular on YouTube.
Follow @David Astramskas
Bell Biv Devoe once famously said never trust a big butt and a smile. You may or may not want to take that advice from the New Edition members but I’m here to tell you never, ever, ever trust a girl who owns a Damian Lillard jersey.
NEVER BUYING 2k AGAIN…….. My girl came home last night & I was dubbing my 3yr son in 2k, nigga weak as shit. His ass was slobbing on the sticks and shit, retarded as little boy. Smh but anyway my girl ask can she play I said shid why not… Then she said if she win she get to go through my phone, if I win she’ll give me head on the toilet. I’m thinking “man this bitch fina be mad as hell bc I’m fina bust her ass” so I’m like BET. She say coo… We start picking teams she asked me “is the roasters updated”? That gave me a bad feeling right there. I said yeah bitch bc she pissed me off knowing that. Sooo the game start & I hit three straight 3s on her stupid betting ass. I’m up 30-0 going in the 2nd quarter. Mannnnnnnnnn I KID you not this bitch ripped of work clothes & had a DAMIAN LILARD jersey on. She start shooting jumpers from 2k logo. This bald head mf even pressed pause and went to defensive matchups & changed everything. All I’m thinking is God must hate me because I ain’t score for the rest of the game. So I had to think of something quick before they showed the player of the game. So I flipped the whole script on her goofy ass and punched her dead in her nose. Bitch you been cheating on me, ain’t no way you learned how to play this game by just watching. That day I lost my pride, my freedom, and my girlfriend…. & I got a domestic charge
So is it OK to date a girl who owns other NBA jerseys? Yes and no, it depends on the player but in the case of Damian Lillard, it’s never OK. Dame represents cold-blooded killers who are constantly doubted but always end up making their critics eat their words. So unless having a girlfriend that you know is always going to make you little silly and prove you wrong sounds like fun, I suggest you check your girls closet and look for the Portland jersey with the number 0 on it.
Note to Deion: Lillard rather you buy NBA Live than 2K anyways.