White on white crime rates up 6% this 4th of July weekend pic.twitter.com/6ftYY0tf7a — White Bball Pains (@WhiteBballPains) July 4, 2016 Happy 4th of July! Here’s ...(Read more)

White on White Crime (4th of July Edition): Guy Breaks Girl’s Ankles!

Happy 4th of July!

Here’s another classic clip from @WhiteBballPains – a hilarious Twitter account dedicated to white people playing basketball – showing a white guy clowning and breaking the ankles of some white girl with this caption: White on white crime rates up 6% this 4th of July weekend.

As true or untrue as that  amusing stat is, this past weekend has been a pretty good weekend for a lot of white NBA guys, including a couple the average NBA fans wouldn’t recognize if he showed up to their backyard BBQ with a box of fireworks, potato salad, 12-pack of beer and a 90’s hip-hop compilation album with Whoomp There It Is and Baby Got Back on it.

Here’s a list of the recent happy white free agents in the NBA and their offers.

  • Chandler Parsons: 4yr, $98.5m
  • Ryan Anderson: 4yr, $80m
  • Matthew Dellavedova: 4yr, $38m
  • Mirza Teletovic: 3yr, $30m
  • Timofey Mozgov: 4yr, $65m
  • Jon Leur: 4yr, $42m
  • TYLER JOHNSON: 4YR, $50M!!!!

And here’s a hall of fame clip showcasing the mixture of white people + alcohol + basketball.


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