We live in a time when NBA players are afraid to get dunked on because they don’t want to end up getting roasted on social media — that online place full of trolls and oversensitive keyboard warriors who can’t recognize sarcasm or the difference between innocent roasting and bullying.
On Tuesday, Comedy Central aired a ‘Roast Battle’ between roast legend Jeff Ross aka “The LeBron of Roasting” and dunk legend Blake Griffin, who is responsible for a lot of NBA players ending up on memes and a baby mama ending up with some huge child support payments.
Here are a few highlights from the battle:
Jeff: Everybody talks about your busted knee. What about that busted face. You look like Morgan Freeman bleached.
Jeff: Good luck in Detroit. That’s the whole joke. I think you are just white enough not to get shot by the police. But be careful, you are now the worst shooter in the most violent city in America. Blake Lives Matter!
Blake: Jeff Ross looks like Darth Vader after they took his helmet off.
Blake: You are such a bald piece of shit. It looks like we both got fucked by the Clippers.
Jeff: And just like the Clippers, Kendall eventually traded you for another basketball player.
As expected, the Roastmaster General came out victorious but Blake is a funnier guy than his roast material. His stand-up acts are decent, his nude appearance on ‘Broad City’ was great and he’s also very funny in interviews like this classic one in 2009 when he said: “Why did I have to be half white. Why couldn’t I just be guaranteed to be in the NBA.”
If you prefer to watch Blake Griffin play basketball, here’s some recent footage of Blake dominating at a Rico Hines run while wearing some short shorts.
THE LEBRON OF ROASTING
My first memory of Jeff Ross was in 2003 when he hilariously roasted Shaq during the Roast of Emmitt Smith.
“Shaq you look good. Your knuckles look scraped. Did you walk here?”