“He’s too big. He’s too big. He’s too big for that. He’s too big. That ain’t no foul.”
No, that’s not exactly what the Vietnamese prostitute said about the “Soul Brother” in one of the many classic scenes from Stanley Kubrick’s war masterpiece ‘Full Metal Jacket.’ That’s what Kevin Durant had to say about LeBron James when the refs were reviewing an obvious foul on the King that ended up being a ruled a no-foul.
“So keep that shit on Twitter.”
And that’s one of my favorite Kevin Durant quotes of the year (up there with him talking about nobody wanting to wear UA shoes and everything he said from his burner accounts) and the final words of KD’s amusing Christmas postgame conference.
“It felt clean.” Said Durant, when asked about the internet’s reaction to him getting away with fouling LeBron in the final seconds of the Warriors 99-92 win over the Cavs. “It’s probably the same play a bunch of those dudes on Twitter probably arguing about in 24 Hour Fitness, ‘That wasn’t a foul.’ They’ve been in that position before, but just not on Christmas at Oracle Arena. So they know. They know if they ain’t call it, it’s not a foul. But I’m sure if they get that call next week in 24 Hour Fitness, they’re going to be pissed that they called a foul. So keep that shit on Twitter.”
The King obviously disagreed with the call but didn’t feel like ranting about the refs’ gift to the Warriors.
“He fouled me twice,” Said James, who only scored 20 points on 7-of-18 shooting and wasn’t too thrilled about having to spend another Christmas away from his family to play in the overlong list of scheduled Christmas games. “But, whatever. What are you going to do about it?”
The no-call was Durant’s fifth block of the game, which saw the Cavs put up a donut in the blocks column and shoot an awful 31.8-percent shooting with six Cavs making one or less shots. The five blocks was also the third time this season KD has blocked five or more shots and pushed his roto-friendly December numbers to 28.1 points, 7.7 rebounds, 5.8 assists, 2.8 blocks and 0.9 steals a game.
“He can play every position, 1-5, but he’s so long and athletic that he gets to a number of those shots, whether it’s guys trying to take quick jumpers over him or guys trying to finish at the rim,” Said Kevin Love, who finished with a game-high 31 points but missed 16-of-25 shots. “He’s one of those guys that’s really stepped up his game defensively for them and he’s helped them.”
NAUGHTY OR NICE
Besides getting away with murder in the final minute, the Cavs also felt KD was allowed to get away with being too naughty in the opening quarter too.
“Hell nah. They’re not tossing me in the first quarter,” Durant told ESPN, when asked about the Cavs players trying to convince the refs to give him a second a technical after bumping with Jose Calderon. “They’re not tossing me in the first quarter over a little bump. And I heard Isaiah Thomas and Tristan Thompson talking to the ref [to toss me out]. You can ask Wade, LeBron, Kevin Love, them dudes, they didn’t want me out the game at that point. I wouldn’t want them out the game. That’s not what it’s about.”
“We’re trying to have some fun and hoop out there and that’s what we did.”
They hooped but I’m pretty sure most of the Cavs wouldn’t say they had much fun.