Michael Jordan wasn’t drunk & didn’t have the flu in 97 Finals, he was “Poisoned by Pizza!”

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The NBA wants you to believe Michael Jordan had the flu in game 5 of the 1997 NBA finals in Utah.  Gatorade wants you to believe he survived that game by drinking a bunch of sugary high fructose corn syrup filled Gatorade.  Bill Simmons and Jalen Rose wants  you to believe it wasn’t Gatorade in his system but something more intoxicating.  MJ’s trainer Tim Grover, who just happens to have a new book and could use some promotional buzz, wants you to believe that he was “100 PERCENT POISONED!”

This is how Grover explained it to TrueHoop TV

We were in Park City, Utah, up in a hotel. Room service stopped at like nine o’clock. He got hungry and we really couldn’t find any other place to eat. So we said eh, the only thing I can find is a pizza place. So we says all right, order pizza.

We had been there for a while. Everybody knew what hotel. Park City was not many hotels back then. So everyone kind of knew where we were staying.

So we order pizza.

Five guys came to deliver this pizza.

I take the pizza and I tell them: “I’ve got a bad feeling about this. … I’ve just got a bad feeling about this.”

Out of everybody in the room, [MJ] was the only one who ate. Nobody else had it.

And then 2 o’clock in the morning I get a call to my room. Come to the room. He’s curled up in the fetal position. We’re looking at him, finding the team physician at that time.

Immediately I told him it’s food poisoning.

Not the flu.

So the Bulls were staying at a hotel that wasn’t offering 24/7 access to food for Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls, they ordered pizza from a mysterious place that was delivered by 5 guys (same dad different moms) at 2 in the morning, MJ ate it, went into the fetal position, realized it was the pizza place and did not have the cook and delivery boys killed the next day.  Instead he plays 44 minutes and finishes with 38 points 7 rebounds 5 assists 3 steals 1 block and 1 big Pippen “I got you” hug.

Maybe it’s Pippen’s fault. During game 1 of the series he said “Just remember, the Mailman doesn’t deliver on Sundays, Karl” to Karl Malone.  All delivery services in Utah were offended so they got together and came up with a plan to kill MJ.

They obviously didn’t know who they were effing with and how can somebody who is used to eating at Lou Malnati’s in Chicago order pizza in Utah.  That would be like asking fans that are used to watching Jordan, Pippen and Rodman to watch Corey Benjamin, Brent Barry and Dickey Simpkins the next year.

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